Remonstrance

"But that’s not tru’!" Allistar retorts in Scottish brogue. "What’rr ya gonna duu? Hold hands and go t’ hell together holdin’ hands?"

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"An’ some of yew will be leavin’ herrr today sayn’, ‘Well, I dunno what all that was abowt, but I surrr am glad it’s over!’"

"Give up your life for Jesus! Bury yourself into His purpose! I’ve buried myself here in Cleveland! Let me tell you my friends, this is not the rolling hills of Scotland!"

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According to the Supreme Court, a teacher can say "Jesus Christ" or "God" as a cuss-word, but not as a blessing. According to Dobson, swearing like "Jesus Christ!" is protected free expression of speech. I’m not sure how true it is, but it’s fair to say The System has a built-in prejudice against Christianity. Many teachers I meet are terrified of persecution (i.e., getting fired) for sharing their faith. Dobson’s push for the Christianization of schools is no answer, but I do find his observation fascinating.

Here’s what I wonder: can you share your faith in Christ by cussing in Jesus’ name? What a marvelous loophole! But the Fundies wouldn’t touch it…

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Observe the famous Simon Stylite perched atop his pole for 37 years:

Amazingly enough, his 37 year hermitage inspired a popular movement among monks in the fifth century:

After spending 37 years on his pillar, Simeon died on 2 September 459. He inspired many imitators, and, for the next century, ascetics living on pillars, stylites, were a common sight throughout the Byzantine Levant. He is commemorated as a saint in the Coptic Orthodox Church, where his feast is on 29 Pashons.A contest arose between Antioch and Constantinople for the possession of Simeon’s remains. The preference was given to Antioch, and the greater part of his relics were left there as a protection to the unwalled city. from Wikipedia

Now compare this against what the Bible says:

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but I do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 13:2 And if I have prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so that I can remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 13:3 If I give away everything I own, and if I give over my body in order to boast, but do not have love, I receive no benefit.

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Tags: folly, history

For those of you who’ve been waiting with baited breaths to see for yourselves, well here it is: the hunter with his quarry at bay:

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I just gotta blog about Michelangelo’s painting in the “Sistine Chapel” showing God creating Adam:

Does anyone other than me see a problem with this picture?

Well, I’ve changed the diapers of three boys now, and I’m telling you I’ve never seen anything that small except, maybe, in the first six months. Now, I don’t presume to tell God what he’s doing, but I just gotta believe He would do a better job than that thing.

Then it hit me why Michelangelo drew it that way: some pope in the dark ages declared sex was the “original sin” that caused “The Fall.” Since Papal Bull (as the Catholic church labels it) is axiomatic and rarely deprecated, this weird view of human sexuality permeated everything back then–and still is Catholic dogma!

So of course this explains why Michelangelo thought God gave Adam only something big enough to pee with. They came up with so many wacko beliefs in the dark ages!

Now if Papal Bulls were wrong about Galileo (the Vatican admitted recently), wrong about the Spanish Inquisition (never reversed), wrong about all non-Catholics are doomed to hell (Vatican-reversed in ‘64),¹ and wrong to ban private reading of the Bible (also reversed in ‘64), is it not possible this is the ‘Wrong Schlong’ after all?

Far less humorous but equally non-biblical was the Papal Bull that stipulates salvation requires good works. But it isn’t the exclusive purview of Catholicism, because many Protestants also think salvation requires good works. Weird the way that works.

(As an aside, I asked a couple of the leaders in Greg’s CG what they thought was wrong with the picture, and, well, let me just say it took a while for one of them to figure it out…hmmm.)

1. From Vatican II, Wikipedia: the Church knows that she is joined in many ways to the baptized who are honored by the name of Christ, but who do not however profess the Catholic faith in its entirety or have not preserved unity or communion under the successor of Peter.” [↩]

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Tags: history