crabgrass life
Here’s a conversation between me and an old friend which started because he knew I’m "religious" and he’s about to have another kid, so he thinks my "religiousness" will bring him some "good luck"…
| havranekc: | oh going to have our second boy on the 21st .. put in a good word for him okay? |
| kxmccallum: | oh no kidding! |
| havranekc: | Matthew is his name |
| kxmccallum: | i will be praying for you charles |
| havranekc: | not me Matthew! |
| kxmccallum: | …and for your family & newborn |
| kxmccallum: | but definitely for you, too |
| havranekc: | save it for the family |
| kxmccallum: | you need to find the lord |
| havranekc: | oh i give thanks, that’s enough I think |
| kxmccallum: | you’re the biggest influence in the family |
| havranekc: | I don’t like to ask favors…figure being alive is a pretty good gift |
| kxmccallum: | you need to receive christ’s forgiveness and receive him into your heart |
| havranekc: | forgive me for what??? Some sin of my forefathers? (ie, Adam) I have no concept of it |
| kxmccallum: | Blaise Pascal: "Our hearts have no rest until they find their rest in God" |
| havranekc: | You’re saying, just dont’ worry & god will take care of things? |
| kxmccallum: | Oh Charles, charles… why get so bitter at someone offering you their kindness? |
| havranekc: | not bitter, just plenty of others could use it more than I |
| kxmccallum: | well, they’re a different topic |
| havranekc: | I’m happy to have health and family. anything beyond is shere indulgence |
| kxmccallum: | well you know there’s more to life than mere existence |
| havranekc: | I know, I have fun…i don’t expect anything. I give thanks, not sure what else there is |
| kxmccallum: | you just described the life of crabgrass …no meaning, purpose, direction, fulfillment, power, insight, no future… |
| havranekc: | oh I have those things. it’s all based on propagation |
| kxmccallum: | you’ve resigned yourself to mere existence |
| havranekc: | yes, in order to propogate…it’s the only logical purpose I see to life. |
| kxmccallum: | the life of crabgrass |
| havranekc: | pretty much. |
| havranekc: | but i can have fun, which is the gift |
| kxmccallum: | read the 1st chapter of my book |
| havranekc: | crabgrass is not aware(well probably not) |
| kxmccallum: | "aware" of what? |
| havranekc: | of being alive, enjoying it |
| kxmccallum: | "being alive"… i don’t know about that… my crabgrass looks pretty happy when the sun comes out in a primitive sort of way |
| havranekc: | to be aware of ones surroundings, reacting to changes, that sort of thing. Doesn’t explain a life of misery, so I’m pretty lucky |
| kxmccallum: | "lucky" to exist? yuk |
| havranekc: | lucky to not have amiserable existance…I suppose even the worst of times there is good |
| kxmccallum: | well ok, but you were created for much more than that… and the funny thing is, you know there’s more |
| havranekc: | well you can try and make the world a better place, but that just ties to propogation for me |
| havranekc: | without no good there is no bad etc Ed.Note: Charles is a Post-Modernist |
| kxmccallum: | you’re aware that eternity exists |
| kxmccallum: | it’s not so pointless |
| havranekc: | it may or may not exist. |
| kxmccallum: | but you know it exists |
| havranekc: | until I see it I won’t know 100% for sure. Wishing it’s there is great |
| kxmccallum: | you’re a creature created to long for eternity in your heart |
| havranekc: | well oddly enough.. saw this thing on blackholes which somewhat validate dmy theory on life being never ending, no end no beginning of god part of the universe Ed.Note: Charles is blowing smoke |
| kxmccallum: | well, that’s one way to deal with the knowledge of eternity…but again, it’s not really much of an eternity you’re grappling with… |
| havranekc: | eternity of happiness sounds good, but I just have no concept of such an existance |
| kxmccallum: | read the 1st ch of my book |
| havranekc: | eternity of misery doesn’t sound right either, why would a god like to punish something god created forever? Ed.Note: Charles is contradicting himself here and later, and I didn’t catch it at the time! He pretends he’s happy, but here acknowledges he’s not… |
| kxmccallum: | it’s an eternity of purpose, accomplishment, relationships, etc |
| kxmccallum: | misery? |
| havranekc: | hell |
| kxmccallum: | but…but i thought you were happy |
| havranekc: | I meant about the whole heaven hell thing |
| havranekc: | it’s for eternity per some religions |
| kxmccallum: | what god calls hell, you probably wouldn’t call it that, tho…you would probably feel more comfortable in god’s hell than having to put up with him in his heaven |
| havranekc: | eh.. I’m mr happy thoughts. I don’t like dwelling on bad things.. usually not much purpose in it…remember the ‘rule in hell vs serve in heaven’ bumper sticker? |
| kxmccallum: | finding purpose has purpose |
| havranekc: | welp, not going to dwell on a bad afterlife, and not going to think too much about the afterlife while I’m in this life. |
| havranekc: | have to worry about here and now vs something I can’t truely control |
| kxmccallum: | that’s usually the way teenagers deal w/ life, charles |
| havranekc: | sounds good. |
| havranekc: | teenagers go to heaven too I’m sure |
| kxmccallum: | hmmm… a little immature, however… |
| havranekc: | or very mature  how many happy old people do you know? do the happy ones worry about death? |
| kxmccallum: | i’m sure you’ll be displeased if your son(s) live their lives without caring about tomorrow |
| havranekc: | as long as he handles today correctly that’s fine…the rest falls into line. More decisions you make the better |
| kxmccallum: | ok, i get it… |
| havranekc: | I float with it…. |
| kxmccallum: | well, maybe you’re right and everything will be whatever it is |
| havranekc: | pure randomness may be gods will, who knows. |
| kxmccallum: | …i think it takes alot of effort to arrive at a life of non-purpose |
| havranekc: | I have a purpose. To propogate. If nothing else you have the will to stay alive and to procreate |
| kxmccallum: | the amount of mental gymnastics you put into your life of non-direction is almost religious…and i know it’s gotta be hard, too ’cause you’re going against your innate personhood |
| havranekc: | eh sort of I suppose, but then again, the good things in life don’t come easy |
| kxmccallum: | no they don’t … if this is all there is, boy… it really sucks |
| kxmccallum: | meaningless suffering |
| kxmccallum: | pointless existence |
| havranekc: | obviously I look ahead, otherwise i wouldn’t be where i am, but i try and stay focused on what i can influence |
| kxmccallum: | crabgrass propogation |
| havranekc: | who says pointless? this may be just temporary. What happens then will happen then. |
| kxmccallum: | dreams without purpose |
| havranekc: | we could just be nurons firing in a larger brain. a day dream |
| kxmccallum: | it’s a heartbreaking existence without god, that’s a fact |
| havranekc: | k… |
| havranekc: | Not real worried about it. God gave me skills and opportunities. |
| kxmccallum: | anyway, just read my 1st chapter charles |
| kxmccallum: | it wont’ be your doom & gloom… who knows? it may even stir some interesting questions… |
| kxmccallum: | k dude,i gotta get this project out still tonight! |
| havranekc: | it’s tempting, but I really don’t want to deal with those questions at this time. I have enough on my mind and still clearing things from the distaster |
| kxmccallum: | i do enjoy talking w/ you tho |
| havranekc: | always a pleasure |
| kxmccallum: | yeah, i understand dude, i’ll be praying for you! |
| havranekc: | family!!! |
| kxmccallum: | & them too!! |
